Have you ever gotten to a certain point with one of your own annoying habits, when you just decided, “enough—I can’t take it anymore?”

["Shadow Button," week 4, number 61, from my Quit Your Day Job Buttons]

The word is fear, and my frustrating habit is: motivating myself with fear.
I think most of us do this to varying degrees—here are some examples:

“I’d better get this done tonight, or else I’ll just get further behind tomorrow, and then I’ll never get it done.”
“I’d better exercise, or else I’ll feel sluggish and guilty later.”
“I’d better clean the house, or my guests will think I’m a slob.”
“I’d better say the right things in the interview, or else I won’t get the job.”

It’s funny, I noticed in writing these examples that some are very embedded in my brain and therefore sound like realism. How about you?

Do you have any little lines that you recite in your head? The reasons you create to scare yourself into doing things?

Personally, I’m most able to notice when I’m motivating myself with fear by how I feel—when fear is the motivator, I feel a weight in my chest, and start to feel a little sick with panic. My brain gets frantic as I start to think, “I should/must do this, this, and this.”

What is your tell? How do you feel when you give yourself an ultimatum—”I’d better do this, or else?”

The opposite of fear seems to me to be joy, or excitement. What does it feel like to be motivated by joy or excitement—that moment when you think up a wonderful little scheme? For me, it feels like laughing, like a joyful internal laugh, like being a little kid. It’s an expansive feeling of possibility and fun. We all have many examples of being motivated by simple joy:

“Wouldn’t it be so amazing to go on a trip to . . .”
“Ooh, I’d love to have a slice of pizza for lunch today!”
“It would be so great to call my best friend right now.”
“Wouldn’t it be fun to try and make . . .”
“I would love to be a ______ when I grow up!”

All of this thinking got me wondering:
What would it be like to only do things that I feel positively motivated to do?

My first response to this was, “Well, that wouldn’t work—how would I get anything done? I would never pay the bills or wash the dishes. I wouldn’t be motivated to do anything that isn’t fun.” But when I really started thinking about it, isn’t this the answer to creating a fulfilling and exciting life—doing more and more of the things you love and feel joyfully motivated to do?

Before the alarm bells start going off in your head, let me clarify—I’m not suggesting we all quit doing everything that we don’t love doing. What I’m really talking about is letting go of fear, and the process of trying to re-learn how to motivate yourself in a positive way. I’m also talking about living with intention. When I’m being motivated by fear, I often find myself grasping frantically at tasks and goals, and therefore not doing my work with intention—not really putting my focus and full creativity into it. When I’m operating from a place of excitement and joy, I am able to appreciate the process of doing something and really put my positive energy into it.

While it’s true that there are two ways to look at everything—any action can be motivated by fear or joy depending on how you look at it, I think that the best way to get started with this is to begin noticing when you’re feeling one or the other, and try to start acting on the joy, in as many situations as possible.

What would change in your life, if you spent more time living and working from a place of joy and excitement? If you made more choices based on what sounds exciting to you? Would you feel less or more energy and motivation? Would you feel less or more fulfilled?

In the end, what is life about? Is it about getting ahead in any way possible, or enjoying the ride and appreciating every day?

There is a big learning curve with this type of change. To be honest, I have been aware of this tendency in myself to motivate with fear for a long time, but a part of me has still thought that somehow the fear was really motivating me to do things I wouldn’t otherwise do—the fear was keeping me in line.

A life coach I like to listen to, Michael Neill, often talks about this, and he says that the key to changing a behavior is to really understand that it’s hurting you. He compares a hurtful behavior/habit to the act of hitting yourself in the head with a shovel. Obviously, we don’t hit ourselves in the heads with shovels because it hurts. When we can get to that point of understanding with a behavior (worrying, motivating myself with fear, and smoking are like hitting myself in the head with a shovel) then, changing the behavior is simple—you just do it because you know it very blatantly hurts you.

Do you have any habits/behaviors that you continue to do, even though you know (on some level) that they’re hurting you?
Do you have any habits you’ve kicked by realizing that they’re no good for you? How did you make the mental switch?

I’m trying something pretty new today—a poetry podcast! I won’t write too much because I want the podcast to speak for itself, but this is a podcast of me reading and talking about one of my favorite poems, “Wild Geese” by Mary Oliver. Also, as I mention in the podcast, here’s the post with the written words of this poem from Kerri at Songs of Light.

OK, so here it goes—a little something to look at first, and then the podcast. Please let me know if you have any troubles listening!

Wild Geese: the podcast:

I wanted to let you all know about a new part of my blog. I am now officially starting to put myself out there as an illustrator, and so have created an Illustration Portfolio to showcase some of my work, and give people an idea of my style.

If you’re looking to add a unique touch of creativity to a project (think books, pamphlets, e-books, event posters, magazines), or would like to have a fun and one-of-a-kind way to promote your business (think business cards, fliers, postcards, and anything else you can dream up), I’d love to talk to you! Check out my portfolio:

You may be wondering, “what is the difference between an artist and an illustrator?” Well, I think that depends a lot on the type of artwork you do and where it’s used. I tend to think of illustration as “art for a particular purpose” (it also kind of blurs with graphic design). The first thing that comes to mind is children’s book illustration, but really, illustration encompasses a whole world of things: technical illustrations (think vacuum cleaner manual), magazine illustrations, posters and promotional materials, the surface of packaging, and the list goes on—basically any drawing that is adding a visual component to something. This is a very non-technical definition—I am kind of new to these distinctions, so this is my own personal working definition.

I have often been told that my particular style works well for illustration—it’s simple, fun, and easy to reproduce. I have also been really gawking at magazine illustrations lately and thinking it would be fun to get a little more into the illustration arena. A lot of artists that I’ve seen, working in contemporary styles similar to mine, are also doing illustration work, and I have started to do that with a few recent projects—most notably some greeting card designs that are currently going through reviews at a greeting card company (more on that in coming months).

I think, especially with my work, art and illustration are really blurred, more than say, with someone who does abstract art. I often create drawings that really illustrate a message, and I find it fun to figure out a unique way to represent something visually. I think it would be fun to bring that creativity into more venues. So, check out my portfolio! If you’ve been following this blog, you will probably recognize most of these illustrations/drawings, but basically I organized some of my best illustrations into some applicable categories.

It’s a good thing when you share your spouse’s particular brand of weirdness. The other night at dinner when my husband described to me a giant tumbleweed he saw on his bike ride home and suggested he might like to go pick it up and photograph it, I didn’t think this was weird at all. My main comments were various suggestions on how we could get it home. “We could drive,” I said. “I don’t think it would fit in the car,” he said. “Could we put it on the top?” I questioned. “That might work,” he replied. In the end, we decided to walk.

It was dark by that time, so the actual size of this tumbleweed remained elusive to me until we were upon it. As we walked alongside the large field this tumbleweed was said to inhabit, I began to make out a giant orb. The plan was for Mike to somehow hoist this mass of viney limbs on his back and carry it the 10 minutes back to our house, while I managed the dog. I wish I had had a camera. The sight reminded me of a Diego Rivera painting, with one of those enormous bundles of flowers on someone’s back. I couldn’t help myself from giggling all the way home. Towards the end, the tumbleweed began to catch on too many trees, so Mike began to drag it. What a sight he must have been to innocent bystanders, walking along the side of the main road with an enormous ball of limbs.

We decided, as we discussed how he would photograph it (he wanted to take it out of its context and create kind of a “studio portrait), that even if the photos didn’t work out, it was a really interesting natural sculpture on its own.

It reminded us of Andy Goldsworthy—such a perfect sphere that it almost looks man-made, or perhaps it is what man would try to create in order to imitate the perfection of nature. We plopped it in our front yard, and it nearly took up the whole space. Mike quickly dragged it to the back yard to try and capture it with the black backdrop of night.

Now, when I look out my office window, I see it sitting there, like a giant guffaw from nature. Even more, it reminds me of Mike, and how I love our brand of weirdness, and I hope we just continue to get more joyful in our weirdness as the years go on.

Check out Mike’s Post on the tumbleweed. Also, Happy Thanksgiving to all of my fellow countrymen.

[in case you didn't know, this is me being silly with the tumbleweed in our back yard]

Yes, you did read the title of this post correctly—I”m giving away FREE ART. I’ve been admiring Jen’s Feed Your Soul Project over at Indie Fixx for some time now—to share art during this financially challenging time, she has organized having a different artist give away a print (via a downloadable pdf file) every month. It is amazing—and she has people lining up (an extended waiting list of artists) who want to be a part.

Recently, I have been thinking a lot about why I do art, and why I want to keep doing art—it’s because I want to share inspiration and ideas, and help people to see things in a new way that makes their lives richer. To me, the best way to do that is to put lots of art out there—get it to people in as many ways as possible, and so I thought, “Why don’t I give away free art every month?”

To start us out on this Blue Bicicletta free art project (I don’t yet have a nifty name for the project like Jen), I’m posting up a notecard version of my new hope drawing. I”ve been mentioning this drawing a lot lately, I think because hope is really important to me right now, and really always is. Also, even though I’d like to be one of those very diplomatic artists who says they couldn’t possibly pick a favorite drawing, I’ll admit it—I love this drawing right now—it really speaks to me, perhaps I am in love with it. I decided notecards would be best because then you can even pass the message along to someone who really needs it.

So, it is with this free art that I wish you all of the hope in the world—an entire ocean of hope. I wish that it would swoop down and sweep you off your feet so that you could live in a land of infinite possibility. Without further ado, you can download my hope notecards here:

hope_notecard

About the cards: As you probably already realize, this artwork is for PERSONAL USE ONLY. You can print out as many as you’d like, send them to friends, share the love, but they are not for resale. These cards work great printed out on an 8.5 x 11 inch piece of card stock or heavy-weight paper. All you need to do is cut the sheet in half on the long side (at 5.5 inches), and then just fold each card. They fit perfectly in any A2 size envelope that you can find at office supply stores. I generally get better blacks when I print in color, but black and white printing will do fine too.

Please let me know if you have any difficulties with the file—since this is my first time putting a pdf on my blog, I’d love to hear about any kinks in its use. Thanks so much for being a part of Blue Bicicletta! Expect to see more free art next month this time—how about December 17 (as 17 is one of my lucky numbers)?

I’ve been talking about art a lot lately! Yay art!

I recently found out about the website Divine Caroline from Jenny at Rising Sun Coaching. I’m pretty new to the website, but Divine Caroline is a site for women where members can read and write articles on anything from work to hobbies to money. I thought it would be fun to write an article about art and creativity, specifically, how the creative process can be applied to other parts of our lives. I talked about this in a recent conversation with Jenny, and I’ve thought about it before—I’ve learned how to be open and come up with creative solutions in my art, but I often forget to use these skills in other parts of my life and the business side of my art. I think this happens to a lot of people—we learn something in one situation, and miss what that skill would offer to another.

My article is called Anything is Possible: Art and Creative Living . Check it out! It is a musing on a lot of ideas I’ve been having recently as I try to figure out how I want to live my life—you’ll notice I stole the title from this recent post. My only minor complaint about Divine Caroline is that I wasn’t able to upload my artwork to put with the article—I had to pick a stock photo. That was kind of disappointing, but otherwise the website looks great, and I think the stock photos probably help the entire site look more professional, so perhaps it’s better that way.

I have also been talking about art as a recent member of a local Etsy Team called the SactoMetro Etsy Street Team. If you’re unfamiliar with Etsy Teams, they’re a way for Etsy members to get together based on a common interest or location to meet like-minded creative people, share tips, and promote together. Since I live just 20 minutes from Sacramento, CA and often do shows there, I joined a local group. As part of the team, I have started posting weekly interviews with team members about their art/craft on the team blog.

I just posted the second weekly interview with MrsTalbott, a lovely local maker with a penchant for historic crafts (think handmade dolls, aprons, and knit items), and last week, I did the first interview with M and J Designs, the maker of so many fun creative items (think monster plushes and blue squid t-shirts).

So much art to be seen and made! I better hop to it!

I have some new framed original drawings to share today! You got a peek at some of them in a couple of previous posts, but here they are for real.

A while ago I got the idea to do some miniature drawings with action words (kind of like my Saving the World series, but simpler), and to frame them up as nice little holiday gifts, or really just nice little bits of inspiration for any time of the year. I found some great white frames at Ikea, and I was off and running. Here are the first four—there will be more to come over the next couple of weeks:

All are available in this section of my shop. If you’re interested in ordering one of these as a holiday gift, please make sure to put your orders in early, so they arrive in time (the earlier, the better)! With a special tip of the hat to the holidays, I’m offering free gift wrapping—yay for more stamping!

Have you noticed my recent interest in stamping? I got an awesome alphabet stamp kit (including stars), and as a gift from Era, some amazing little fork and knife stamps. What fun! More art (and stamping) to come as I get my shop ready for the coming gift-giving season!

Today, I want to talk about possibilities. Mostly, I’m writing this because I need to hear it, but also, I think there might be someone else out there who needs to hear it.

I want to hear these words hanging in the air, I want them dangling from every tree. I want everyone to fling the doors open wide, and let the possibilities in, I want to fill this place with:

This is just a friendly way of saying that too often, we focus on what is not possible, but truly, anything is possible. I am telling you, it’s true.

I will get specific and tell you that I need to hear this because sometimes I focus on the ticking of the clock in my art career instead of the possibility. It hasn’t been long since I went full-time with my art, but I went into it with a time limit: if I couldn’t start making a full income by the beginning of 2010 (allowing myself just a few short months to amp it up), I would have to re-evaluate and find some other way to make money, and return to pursuing art part-time (until some future unspecified date, when I did find a way to support myself at it).

I put this in here not as my sob story, but because I want to be honest with you—honest with anyone out there who is in a similar situation. You are not alone. Truth be told: I love making art (I love it, I love it), but I am not yet making said full-time income.

So now, more than ever, with the holiday season dangling very near in front of me, the season during which many artists make a large chunk of their income, I am singing out to you and to me this message: ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. Don’t forget it. You wouldn’t want to.

[The above "Hope" drawing is one of my new, as of yet un-released drawings that I will be bringing to a local craft show this weekend. If it doesn't sell, it will be showing up here on the blog next week.]

A while back, a very creative young lady named Tu Linh found my blog and emailed me to talk about art. It never ceases to amaze me how the Internet connects people with like interests from all over the world—Tu Linh is from Vietnam, and we were talking (with special thanks to her excellent English skills) across continents, about our love for art and being creative. This soon led to some mail correspondence, and imagine my smile when I received these wonderful paintings in the mail last month, completely by surprise!

Aren’t these paintings great! I love the different “fonts” she uses, and the combination of pen and watercolor! I especially love the black and white swirling pattern on the table and chairs. Tu Linh loves fish, as is evidenced by these paintings, but she also has started a blog named after this love, Ocean and Fishes. She is an amazingly creative person—in addition to painting, she also takes great pictures and even makes videos.

One of the main things Tu Linh and I have talked about is how to make time for art. Tu Linh struggles with the same thing that a lot of us struggle with—how do you find time for art in addition to everything else? I’m glad to see that she is making time! It seems to me that this is what makes an artist—a willingness to make time for art, against all odds.

Here are some more shots of her paintings:

Thanks Tu Linh for sharing a bit of your creative life with me, and now with everyone, via your blog! Keep it up!

What do you do in your free time when you’re an artist? Well, more art of course!

When I was still working at my day job, I often wondered, what will I do with my free time once I’m doing art during my work time? Obviously liking to make things is really a life-encompassing personality trait, not just a work interest, but I did wonder how it would all shake down. Could I get sick of art-making? Could I need to take a break?

So far, the answers are: no, I do not get sick of art-making, but yes, I do need to take a break from my art business. But that doesn’t mean I won’t want to make other things.

At the end of last week, I found myself itching to get my hands dirty. My pen and ink drawing is the opposite of messy, so sometimes I find myself wanting to mush wet media around. I decided that I wanted to make something with surface texture, something more three-dimensional. The first medium that came to my mind was grout—you know, that sort of smearable, cement-like medium used in between tiles, and often for mosaics.

So this past Saturday I took a trip to one of my favorite art supply stores, otherwise known as the hardware store, and found myself a bag of grout. I already had some old paintings that I was ready to paint over (I had finally faced the reality that I would never finish them), so a $7 bag of grout, a little water, and some old paintings to use as surfaces, and I was off and running in the lovely Fall sunshine of my backyard. Here is what came out of this adventure:

I ended up doing two pieces so far. I smeared the grout on with a paint stick and my hands and then started “texturizing” with a small piece of wire mesh I found in my collage box.

Here are some closeups of the two pieces:

Oh, what fun to create without any intention of getting anywhere—to just put your hands in and go. To lose yourself in the process. To act like a little kid and get dirty. I suppose I’m not getting too far away from my Blue Bicicletta tendencies because I don’t intend to add color—I love the white. I’m hoping to do a few more pieces like this and maybe hang them somewhere in the house, just for something a bit different.

This creative feeling continued for me later on Saturday night with another more easily accessible project (and one you might want to do if you’re looking for a fun and easy way to get creative). Last week, I read this post on a blog I love called Ink on My Fingers, and the subject of the post, an amazingly creative woman named Gwen Bell mentions making vision maps on her blog, which reminded me how much fun it is.

I’m not an expert, but as I understand it, a vision map or board is basically a collage—you go through magazines pulling any images that call out to you, then you make a collage out of them, and then you look at the collage and use it as a tool to see what you value in life and where you want to go. Even without the philosophical analysis part, this is a REALLY FUN thing to do. I love collage—it’s just so creative, accessible, and fulfilling. I highly encourage it—and all you need is some magazines, some piece of heavy paper or board, a pair of scissors, and some glue (I’m a fan of mod podge). Here’s the vision board/collage I made. Please note, all of these images were torn from magazines, so I can’t claim credit for them.

I call this collage “Zest” for obvious reasons. It is now hanging on my office/studio wall to delight and inspire me. If I did decide to analyze this as a vision board, I would say that it shows that I’m looking to lead a passionate, playful, creative life [bright oranges, reds, and yellows, the lightening strike, laughing woman, lots of art and illustration in the collage, the word "zest"] with an ample dose of calm and slowness [the bicycles, (surprise, surprise), natural elements, the bedroom].

I wanted to share these projects with you because taking time to be creative can be such a breath of fresh air. It gets your mind out of the old ruts and opens it up. When you’re making something that is actively engaging your creative brain, you are right there, in that moment, in that project, and it is a wonderful free feeling. I think this is really true for everyone who is willing, whether or not you think of yourself as creative or artistic. Once you let go of expectations, or the judgmental ideas like “I’m not creative,” and just go with it, being creative will take you to a new place.